Righteous Man.

I've been struggling to finish a tune I started months and months ago. I knew the song would be called Righteous Man, but that's about all I could write. Recent events have inspired me finish the song. I put myself in the perspective of another and this is what came from it. It's heavy...but its the brutal truth. People all around us struggle everyday just to wake up and we can't forget that.

My freedom's on the rocks

My freedom's on the barrel of the gun that's in my hand

The gun that's in my hand

I never know how to feel

I never know how to feel until the gun is in my hand

The gun is in my hand

My finger's resting on the trigger now,

I know, if I pull back I'll be on my knees, I know I know I know I know

I know that faith is a word they feed into my heart

By the Father, the Son, Mother Mary, and the Holy Ghost

But the faith that I've held so dearly now has gone to Hell

I'm down in Hell and the righteous man, the righteous man's not right tonight

He's fallen out of sight

And the righteous song, the righteous song's not sung in time...it's in my mind

My freedom's on the floor

My freedom's on the floor as it drips down from my eyes

Drips down from my eyes

And I can't hold back these tears that are building up

I know, it's a feeling I've dealt with everyday and it's getting old, I know I know I know

I know that faith is a word they feed into my heart

By the Father, the Son, Mother Mary, and the Holy Ghost

But the faith that I've held so dearly now has gone to Hell

I'm down in Hell and the righteous man, the righteous man's not right tonight

He's fallen out of sight

And the righteous song, the righteous song's not sung in time...it's in my mind

I can barely hold my head up high

I'm crying out for help tonight

Can't you see the torture in my eyes?

Second Guess.

I have a tendency to second guess myself. Over the past few years, I have come to the realization that this is my curse.

I can't seem to see things clearly until I step away. But then most often when I step back, I have already fucked up a good thing.

It actually amazes me a bit that I do this so consistently. I think I subconsciously try to sabotage myself...maybe it's because I write my best material when I'm in a funk...but who the funk knows? Maybe I just don't know who to be content.

This mentality seems to spill over into every facet of my life..relationships, jobs, geometric placement, etc.

I need to realize that I have so many amazing things right in front of me...but then again...how can I ever be a dreamer and make more of this life if I am content...DAMNIT! I just did it again!

Mano

I wrote this song about 2 years ago after a chance meeting with a spiritual counselor named Mano at the Griddle Cafe on Sunset Blvd. I didn't know at the time how drastically my life would change shortly afterward. Life can throw some curveballs.

Wartorn

This is a song I wrote about a year ago. It has never seen the light of day, so I thought it was time for it to shine.

People are people are people.

People are people are people.

How can I judge a person who is just being a person.

I feel like I know someone and they are on my same wave length but really they are on their own separate page.

People are people are people.

I thought I knew someone, and I really do...but at this point in time...they are just people...who only think of themselves and the repercussions of their immediate decisions...and that is a typical "people" thought.

I completely condone people being people.

It's not a choice...more of a reflex.

Sometime, when people think they can be as one...people are wrong.

People are people are people.

Life happens and thing change.

It's not a choice...it's real life.

Diabetes.

I met a guy today with diabetes type 2. He told me it was caused by his love for pasta. He blamed the whole fiasco on eating too much pasta. "Carbs'll kill ya!" is what he told me...yet within the 45 minutes I spent in his presence, I watched him suck down an 8oz Red Bull, two double shot cappuccino's and 4 cigarettes......for some reason I don't think it was the pasta that caused his diabetes.

Spring Cleaning.

I decided to do a bit of spring cleaning yesterday. I must admit that it was not what I wanted to spend a beautiful Sunday doing, but since I have been neglecting my little apartment for a while now...it was quite necessary.

So I arose from my bed, got a cup of coffee and some necessary cleaning supplies..and BAM! took care of business.

After 5 hours I finally finished. My apartment reeks of Orange Pine Sol and I am 9 grocery bags of clothes, 4 pairs of shoes, and 2 coats lighter. You're welcome GoodWill.

Recording.

I did some recording yesterday.

"My Hometown"
"Hint of Light"
"From Miles Away"
"I Believe In Ghosts"

French...Day One.

My mind is a bit fried at the moment. Today was the first day of my quest to be bilingual.

French is a language that I have always been interested in...and recently the universe has thrown me a few clear signs that it is the language I should he focusing on.

So today I got myself the whole Rosetta Stone set up and began my journey. I can tell already it is going to be a pretty intense and rewarding one.

But for now I must close my eyes and let my brain defragment.

L'homme dort.

The Perfect Macchiato!

Gym Face.

I was sitting in the hot tub at the gym this evening. It felt amazing...

This was the first time that I wasn't completely surrounded by large hairy men...so I was pretty happy about that. Another thing that I was happy about was that there were 3 relatively attractive girls in there as well. The mathematical equation for this scenario looks like this:

lack of large hairy men + 3 relatively attractive girls = Jon in a generally happy mood

So naturally in this generally happy mood, I smiled at the people around me. I thought I was just being friendly...throwing some positive vibes out into the universe. The funny thing that I noticed is that no one seem to want to accept my positive vibes. I would look towards them and they would quickly look away...completely afraid to make eye contact with me. They would rather stare at the wall than have to start a conversation with the jolly fellow next to them.

I understand this "I just want to work out and get the hell out of the gym" mentality. But I feel like if we all just started smiling at each other in the hot tub...we would be generally happier in our day to day routine. I mean we all see faces we recognize from the neighborhood busting ass in spandex, smelling like shit on the treadmill...why not strike up a conversation. This may make for a warmer next encounter at the local watering hole or coffee shop.

Just a thought.

Smile...it will make the world a better place.

I woke up today with a smile on my face...I really like waking up like that.

I feel invincible.

Life can throw me a curve ball...and I'll knock it out of the park.

I've got a sword and body armor...in the form of flexed cheek muscles.

Word to the wise.

Word to the wise and wise to the word. Life is good. Things happen for a reason. Don't ever forget that.

Don't Judge Too Quickly.

Goddamn Typos.

I wish there was an "undo" or "retract" feature in the email world. It's rather embarrassing when you send out a mass email (which you proofed 3 or 4 times before sending), and you realize once it's gone that there was a grade A typo in the opening sentence. Oofda.

Oh well...I guess it's the little typos in life that make things interesting.

I always remember an amazing quote from the film Vanilla Sky..."The sweet is never as sweet without the sour."

Heavy Meeting.

"dabomb.com"

Someone called me "dabomb.com" the other day and it made me pretty curious. I guess I have always considered myself more of "dabomb.net" or "dabomb.org" but maybe I haven't been giving myself the credit I deserve.

Perhaps now, I can wake up every morning with a renewed sense of self-worth.

Perhaps now, I can add a little extra butter to my toast during breakfast and not feel bad about the calorie content.

Perhaps now, I can stop worrying so much about how my hair falls across my forehead...and how it needs to look like a natural fall...yet it is carefully constructed.

Perhaps now, I can roll the windows down on my way to work and crank my favorite talk radio station without worrying about what the cute girl in the VW Bug at the stop light next to me thinks about my listening preferences.

Perhaps now, I can stop giving a shit that she's cranking up the Black Eyed Peas and not completely judge her for her listening preferences.

Perhaps now, I can put a smile on my face throughout the day...maybe even stop obsessing over what my "next move in life" is going to be.

Perhaps now, I can stop trying to fill this hole in my soul with whatever bottle or cute girl is closest.

Perhaps now, I can lay down every night with a smile on my face knowing that I did my very best to make my life and the lives or those around me a bit better.

Perhaps now I can breathe.

One Moment

I always wanted to be the first person that you see each day.

The last person you take to your dreams each night.

The one person who will always makes you smile.

Now I just need one moment to breathe.

One moment to feel your hand in mine.

One moment to cry.

One moment to remember this moment for the rest of my life.

Mental Cleanse.

I have become so burnt out on playing music recently. The timing of this is strange...since I feel like I have been writing some of my best tunes in the past 8 or 9 months.

I'm tired of playing solo...I'm tired of writing...I'm tired of singing...I don't have the motivation to really devote time to a new band...I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

I feel like I should take a break from music for a while. Perhaps put the guitars down for 1 month...lock them in the closet and hide the key. Though I have been starting to rehearse with a new guitar player, and by doing this all of our progress will be hindered.

Maybe it is for the best. I tend to see things clearer when they aren't directly in front of me. I tend to learn lessons the hard way...the only way I guess works for me.

I guess all these new irrationalities, irregularities, and irresponsibilities that seem to have taken over my head recently are starting to wear me down. I need a mental cleanse.